Putting Her Back Together Again
by Gategirl4586
Summary: After horrific events on a distant planet, Major Davis comes to the aid of a striken SG-1 member and faces some truthes about himself. Maj. Davis & OC.


Putting Her Back Together Again

"We shouldn't be leaving her," Colonel Jack O'Neill said as they waited for the Stargate to engage, his voice was laced with guilt and annoyance. He snarled as he looked to his major stood next to him, then down to the archaeologist.

Major Samantha Carter lowered her head in quiet contemplation of Jack's statement. Dr. Daniel Jackson stared down at the ground also, remembering why one of their teammates was not there. Teal'c, who was stood to the right of Jack, and was also silent.

"Doesn't anyone have anything to say?" he asked, sounding even more annoyed that no one was listening to him.

"The Tok'ra are in need of our assistance," Teal'c said as the last chevron of the gate clunked into place. "We have no choice,"

Jack turned to the huge Jaffa beside him. He knew they didn't have much of a choice in what they were doing, but it didn't mean he had to like it, or in fact do it quietly and without complaint.

"Yeah, they go on about their superiority," Jack hissed. "But who do they call on when they need help?" he looked to his left, at Carter. She was still eyeing the floor, not wanting to look at the man who was making a valid point.

"Us," Jack half yelled over the sound of the unstable wormhole being formed in front of them.

Sam bit her lip in a bid not to yell a response back to her colonel. As the wormhole disappeared in on itself, Sam looked to Jack.

"Don't you think we feel bad about having to leave her, too?" she asked, trying to hide the seething tone with a semi-casualness.

Jack snapped his head round to look at her. Sam had tried to mask her anger, but Jack had picked up on it like a bloodhound picking up on a scent.

"God," Sam said looking up to the ceiling of the gate room. "I should be there with her now. She's one of my best friends,"

Teal'c looked past Jack and to the major. He had not seen her this emotional for a long time, and found it unnerving, if in fact he could be unnerved.

Daniel still gazed at the floor, lost in his own thoughts.

"And you're not annoyed by having to help those snake-heads out?" Jack snapped.

Carter looked at him defiantly. "We have no choice," she said flatly, no trace of emotion in her voice this time.

Jack leant forward and looked at Daniel. "What about you?" he asked, the venom in his tone still present.

Daniel slowly turned his head to the colonel. He wasn't entirely sure he knew what the question was being asked, but by the look on the other three's faces, he gave an educated guess.

He looked at his team members in front of him. "I would rather be with her," he said quietly, and looked thoughtfully at the gate for a moment. "Helping her get through this,"

That stopped Jack dead in his tracks. Everything came flooding back to him. The way they had found her, what he had done, what had been said, the line he had crossed. The line that no one other than she knew he had crossed.

Teal'c was half way up the ramp before any of the others had even realised the wormhole was ready for them to depart. He stopped just before the event horizon and turned back to the rest of SG-1.

"The sooner we get there," he said in his most unemotional tone. "The sooner we may return to her,"

Sam, Daniel and Jack looked at each other for a moment, before they too began to walk up the ramp.

General George Hammond and Dr. Janet Fraiser sat on the large plump three-seater sofa on the one side of Jessica Pearce's living room. They both sat with pale blue mugs containing coffee. Both were out of uniform, and both shared the same expression of worry and concern.

Jessica sat by herself on the matching chair to the suite, her legs tucked under her, cradling a similar mug to her chest. She wore sweat pants that had certainly seen better days and an oversized t-shirt that could have fit two of her in, thought Hammond.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay with me and Cassandra?" Janet asked leaning forward slightly.

Jessica shook her head and took a sip from her mug. "No, Janet, I'll be fine here," she said with a smile that attempted to convey confidence in her decision but failed.

"Maybe you'd like one of us to stay with you here then?" Hammond asked in his soft Texan accent.

Janet turned to her commanding officer and nodded. She looked back at Jessica and smiled slightly. "That's a good idea," she enthused. "Cassy could come over as well," Janet lowered her cup to her lap. "I know she's been wanting to see you,"

Jessica stared blankly at the doctor for a moment, then shook her head.

"No, it's alright," she said a little more determinedly this time. "Really. I just need a little time alone right now,"

Hammond shot a quick glance to Janet, who read his misgivings perfectly. Jessica shouldn't be left alone right now, but what were they to do apart form physically drag her from her home, one of the last places she truly felt safe.

Hammond looked at the young lady in front of him and knew she wasn't going to give in, anything he was going to say now would just have been a waist of breath.

"If you insist…" he began.

Jessica cut him off in mid flow. "I do," she said nodding her head.

Hammond looked at her just as defiantly as she was at him. "If you insist," he started again. "I'll get a guard to come round every now and again, check you're okay, if you need anything,"

Jessica shook her head. "General, that won't be necessary," Jessica protested.

Hammond held up his hand to stop her. "There's no discussion on this one, Jessica,"

It was now Jessica's turn to realise that anything she said would be a waist of her breath. She got to her feet and put her cup down on the coffee table that sat between her and her friends.

Hammond glanced at Janet quickly before he followed suit. Janet took a deep breath before she did the same.

"You need anything," Janet said pointing a finger at her, "don't hesitate to call," she said in a mock ordering tone.

Jessica lowered her head and nodded, agreeing was going to be the only way she could get rid of them. Janet stepped around the table and over to Jessica who was now next to the front door which opened into the living room they were in.

Janet put her arms out to Jessica, letting her choose if she wanted the hug being offered. Jessica smiled and stepped into the embrace. She rested her chin on the doctor's shoulder before pulling away a tad awkwardly.

Jessica pulled her top straight and turned to the general. Hammond smiled sympathetically at the young lady stood before him, not knowing if she would want to be held by him too. She answered his question for him. Jessica stepped forward and into Hammond's now open arms. She rested her head on his large chest and closed her eyes.

Jessica took some small comfort in the embrace she was now in with the large Texan, feeling a little bit safer in the arms of a man she trusted.

Hammond rested his chin on the top of her head and looked to one side, seeing the concern in Janet's eyes. He went to pull away, but Jessica tightened her grip on her general's shirt, keeping him within her grasp. Hammond held her tighter as well, and closed his eyes. The man had fought in many wars and had made many difficult decisions in his time, but this was one thing that he was having a real hard time dealing with.

Jessica finally pulled away and stood on her own. She looked at her two friends and opened the front door to her house.

"Call," Hammond ordered. "Anytime, for anything,"

Janet nodded her head. "One of us will be here within half an hour,"

Jessica nodded.

Major Paul Davis sat at his desk in one of the many offices in the Pentagon. He leant back in his seat and exhaled slowly and deliberately. He took a deep breath back in and fought the urge to be sick. He stifled a gag with one raised hand and swallowed hard.

The file in front of him did not make for pleasant reading. He had been given no warning as to its content and had eagerly began to read it as he did with every other SG-1 report that came out of the mountain. Within the first few sentences of the of Colonel O'Neill's mission report, Paul knew something had not gone quiet according to plan, but had no way of preparing himself for what he was about to read.

Jack's account of the events upon P5K-556 was quite possibly the most harrowing report he had ever had to study. His breath had been taken away by the words Jack had written, and he couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for the colonel to put this all down on paper.

Paul had then read the other reports from the rest of SG-1, they were just as harrowing, and he was surprised as to just how much emotion had come through in Teal'c's recounting of the events on the planet, and the aftermath. Paul had come to suspect that Teal'c may have been unable to show any kind of emotion, he couldn't even think of a time that he had seen the Jaffa smile.

On Sam's report, there were smudges across some of the pages, and the ink had been smeared. He thought the major might have spilled some water on it at first, but as he read on and her account became more emotional than methodical, he realised they were more likely to be tears.

Normally, Daniel's reports were so detailed it took Paul the same amount of time to read his as it did to read all the other team member's put together. This time however, was very different. Daniel seemed to have had a real problem in describing what had transpired on P5K-556, his notes were sketchy at best. Usually Paul may have wanted more detail and an explanation as to why the linguist's report had not been up to it's normal high standard of recall. This time, however Paul was happy not to have that much detail.

Then he had read Jessica's description of the 'incident' as she had described it. Her account had seemed so clinical and methodical, he could hardly believe she had written it so soon after the 'attack'.

The medical report was just as harrowing as the rest of the file. Detailed descriptions were given of every injury. Photos had been included, but Paul chose not look at those. The written records had been so damn detailed he hadn't the need or desire for illustrations.

He did still have the desire to vomit, though. Every word had been engraved on his brain in indelible ink and every time he closed his eyes all he could see was Jessica in the state that had been portrayed.

Paul couldn't help but imagine what she must have gone through in that hour she was away from her team, her friends. She must have been terrified, and with no way of escape, she must have thought her world was coming to an end, or at least have wanted it to.

The major could feel a lump forming in his throat as he rubbed at his eyes with the palms of his hands. He screwed up his face, now unable to think of anything else but how Jessica must be feeling right then. Paul swallowed hard, fighting back what he thought was the inevitable.

Ever since they had first met, he had always had a soft spot for her. She was kind, sweet, funny and enchanting. She had welcomed him to the SGC, no questions asked. There was no bravado caused by her being a different rank, or having a different agenda. Jessica had been naturally polite and disarming. After talking with her for less than an hour, Paul had become quite smitten.

Jessica had always seemed so happy to see him, whatever the reason for his visit. She treated him as a friend, and Paul had been grateful for that.

It was ripping Paul's heart from his chest, just the thought of someone being able to do that to this vivacious woman was enough to make him gag again.

Paul closed the file and pushed it away from him, he leant forward on his hands, resting his elbows on the desk. He closed his eyes again, and instantly realised it had been a bad idea. Images of Jessica flashed in front of him, images that he didn't want to see.

Paul opened his eyes and pushed himself up from his desk and stood up straight. In one fluid motion he bent to his desk and swiped an angry arm across it. The entire contents of his desk flew from its resting place and was scattered around his office. Paul yelled in anger and frustration as he did so, startling his secretary on the other side of his office door.

"Are you okay, Major Davis?" a woman's soft voice sounded from the now open doorway.

Paul looked up, his eyes filled with rage and a hatred for someone he had never met. His secretary looked a little more than worried by her boss's expression.

Paul took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. He tried to calm himself enough to answer the woman in front him evenly.

"Everything's fine, Magda," he said softening his gaze on her as well as his tone.

Magda looked at the papers and desk-ware strewn across his office and raised one eyebrow, but said nothing. If she had learnt one thing while working at the Pentagon, it didn't pay to ask too many questions. All the secretary knew was that it must be something bad for the major to lose his temper like that. As long as she had known him, coming up to three years, she had not heard a word said in anger come from his mouth.

Paul also looked around the room, and realised that she wasn't going to buy that, but he knew she wasn't going to argue with him.

"General Hammond is on line one," she said a little tentatively, not wanting to exacerbate the situation further. "Do you want me tell him you'll call him back?"

Paul looked back to Magda and shook his head as he raised his hand to his forehead and rubbed at the headache that was forming in the front of his brain.

"No, I want to talk to him," he said it with such conviction Magda didn't hesitate returning to her desk to patch through the call.

Paul straightened the tie of his blue dress uniform and waited for the door to be answered. He was a little nervous, completely unsure of whether this was a good idea. All the way to Colorado he had only been able to think that Jessica was all alone, her friends having to go and help the damn Tok'ra.

Hammond had told him she had pushed away himself and Dr. Fraiser, but didn't believe that she truly wanted to be without anyone. Hammond had informed Paul of how this would be the first night she had been alone since the 'incident'. He was finding it hard to believe that she really would want to by herself when it eventually got dark.

Paul heard a scuffle on the other side of the door and had the sense of being watched through the peephole in the heavy wooden door. He could then hear the distinct sound of latches and locks being opened. He stepped back from the door a little, not wanting to seem imposing to the young woman once she had opened it.

The door opened slightly and Jessica's face peered through the four-inch gap. She looked up into the familiar face of the major. Paul found himself stood in silence, not having a clue of what to say to her.

"You read the reports," Jessica said more as a statement of fact rather than a question. She seemed to be resigned to having everyone know what had happened.

Paul nodded his head, still trying to find the words. "I'm so sorry," he said. His voice dripped with sincerity, and sorrow.

Jessica looked into his captivating green eyes for a moment. Most of the people had said those words with such pity it almost made her feel sick. She had never wanted anyone's pity. All she had ever wanted since this had happened was their support to get her through this, but few people seemed to be able to do that.

Jessica bit her bottom lip and sort of looked pleadingly at Paul for a second. That look passed as quickly as it had appeared and she took a deep breath.

"Thank you," she said stepping away from the door. Jessica scratched absent-mindedly at the back of her head as she let the door swing open.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked.

Paul nodded his head and took a step toward the entrance. "If you don't mind?" he said.

Jessica shook her head. "Of course I don't mind,"

Paul watched as she closed the door behind him and make her way over to the large single chair. She dropped herself down into it and pulled the blanket hung over the back of the seat around her.

"Have a seat," Jessica offered, gesturing to the sofa in front of her.

Paul looked behind him as he sat down. He undid the buttons on his jacket and studied the young woman for a moment. There were indeed no marks to her face, as the medical report had indicated. It would seem it was her body that took the full force of the attack.

"Did Hammond send you to check up on me?" she asked, no trace of emotion in her voice.

Paul eyed her for another moment, then shook his head. "I have spoken to him yes, but he has no idea I'm here," he told her.

Jessica tilted her head, but kept her eyes on the major. She was more than a little perplexed as to why he was there then.

"You didn't come for a meeting with the general?"

Paul shook his head. He decided to tell her the truth. "I came here to see you,"

Jessica's head rose, an alert expression played on her face, and a touch of suspicion just below the surface.

"Me?" she asked incredulously.

Paul nodded his head. He chewed his bottom lip and glanced down to the floor, searching for the right words.

"After I read the report," he began, glancing up at her for a second before averting his gaze again, "and spoke to General Hammond, I wanted to come and see you,"

Paul looked into her brilliant blue eyes, which were slightly blood shot, no doubt from crying or lack of sleep, or maybe both.

"Why?" Jessica asked, unable to understand why the major would fly all the way from D.C. just to see her.

Paul gave her a half smile, not wanting to seem inconsiderate to her feelings. "When General Hammond told me SG-1 were going away for a while and that you wouldn't talk to anyone else from the base, I thought you might want to talk to someone a little more impartial,"

Jessica blinked a couple of times, taking in what had just been said to her. Maybe Major Davis was right, maybe she did need to talk to someone about it who wouldn't get all weepy if she did. How wrong could she have been?

Jessica frowned in thought at Paul's offer. "Maybe you're right," she said quietly.

"Do you want a drink?" she asked, suddenly finding her manners. Jessica rose from her seat and stood in front of the major.

Paul's head shot up, as if mimicking her sudden movement.

"Er, yes please," he said as he mimicked her more, now standing in the same posture as she.

Jessica gave him a feeble smile.

Paul pushed himself off the sofa and straightened his clothes. He looked down at the crumpled form next to him.

"I better be leaving you to it," he said, with a hint of remorse.

Jessica looked up at him a little more than a bit bleary-eyed. She struggled with her top's sleeve to see what time it was, ten-thirty.

"There you are, wanting to be left alone, and me really outstaying my welcome,"

Jessica blinked a couple of times. She shook her head.

"No, no," she stammered, also standing.

Paul smiled down at her. She was completely adorable when she was half asleep.

Jessica looked at her hands, now holding them tightly together, self-consciously.

"I think I made a mistake," she told Paul quietly.

Paul frowned at her, he didn't quite understand.

"What do you mean?" he asked, matching her tone.

"I don't think I want to be alone," her voice was now barley above a whisper, and Paul was straining to hear it.

His eyes narrowed as he watched her shift on the spot, like a little girl who had just been told off for being naughty, and was now wanting something she didn't think she would be allowed to have.

"Do you want me to stay?" Paul asked, moving ever so slightly toward her.

Jessica raised her head and looked up into his astonishing green eyes, she nodded slightly.

"Please," her mouth turned down, and she looked as if she was about to burst into tears.

Paul opened his mouth to say something, but chose to close it again without saying a word. Instead he nodded his head.

"I'll stay as long as you want me to," he said.

Paul woke first. He had the distinct feeling that there was something stopping him from moving his lower extremities. He seemed to be pinned down from the waist and didn't quite know why.

There was sun streaming through the open living room curtains and it took him a little while to remember where he was. He squinted into the light before the events of the previous night came flooding back.

Paul looked down into his lap and at the sleeping form of the young lady who was using his legs as a pillow. He shifted slightly, trying to see is she too was awake. Jessica's eyelids fluttered as she seemed to be dreaming.

Paul smiled to himself. After he'd agreed to stay with her, she had seemed to relax a whole lot more knowing he was going to be there the night. A couple of hours later, she'd begun to drift off. They'd been sitting on the sofa next to each other and Jessica had started to lean his way as she finally let herself rest. Jessica had eventually let her head come to rest on Paul's shoulder, allowing her the comfort of his presence. Paul had been surprised she had done this, but wasn't unhappy with the turn of events. He was happy that she trusted him enough to let herself do that.

As Jessica had begun to breathe a little heavier, Paul moved his arm and let her fall toward his lap, guiding her along the way. He knew if she had stayed on his shoulder, she would have undoubtedly awoken with one hell of a crick in her neck.

Paul had been unsure as to whether this had woken her, but if it had, she hadn't seemed to have had a problem with the place she now lay, or with the person she was using as a resting place.

After a long time of watching over her, Paul had finally let himself succumb to his own fatigue. He had slept 'til this time. He looked down at his watch, six-thirty. He placed his hand back down on her shoulder, and watched as she breathed under his touch. A small smile played on his lips as he watched her more at peace than he had ever seen her.

Jessica had always been a 'presence' for want of a better word or phrase. While she attempted to fade into the background, he would always be aware that she was there. Some of the military types who came from the Pentagon to the SGC would dismiss her and Daniel as 'civilians' and wouldn't value their input and knowledge.

On more than one occasion, Jessica had been referred to as an 'anti-war, pacifist, Brit, who it wouldn't hurt to have been put in her place once in a while'.

This had been said by a captain under Paul's command back in D.C. The first time it had been uttered, Paul had not been present, but Jessica had. She had more than eloquently fought her corner. General Hammond had tried to defend her first, but Jessica had declined this. She had given the captain a sever dressing down, much to the entertainment of the rest of SG-1. Jessica had calmly and concisely recounted instances that disproved his opinion, with Jack making noises the whole time to reaffirm the accuracy of her statements.

Jessica had also said that if she ever met a man 'man-enough' to put her in her place, she'd be sure to let him know. She had then gone onto say that until hell freezes over, he'll have to wait.

Jack had almost applauded her. It even raised a smile from Teal'c. Hammond had just dismissed the captain.

The captain, one Matthew Banner had gone back to Washington and recounted the tale to Paul.

Paul had not been amused, and was no way near the sympathetic ear Banner had thought he would be. Paul dismissed the captain's attitude as being very similar to that of the rest of the Pentagon. Blind idiots unable to see the noses on their own faces, let alone the wit, intelligence and savvy of this bright young woman. They also didn't seem to see the unique way she saw things. A little quirk she had of seeing things form a completely different angle to everyone else around her. This on more than one occasion had proved invaluable. To the United States Air Force, she was invaluable as a fighter and fountain of knowledge of the Goa'uld. To Major Paul Davis, she was invaluable as a human being.

The second time those harsh words had been said was by Captain Banner again. This time in the presence of Hammond and Paul. Paul had been quick to put Banner back in his place. He explained each point of the captain's argument. While maybe being mostly anti-war, she did concede to the fact that sometimes there was no other choice. He also pointed out that she had taken part in many military campaigns that had subsequently saved the Earth from being taken over by the Goa'uld. Paul had then gone onto say that she didn't need putting in her place, ever. What Banner had mistaken for arrogance, was actually her unwillingness to take any shit from someone she didn't deem worthy to give her orders, let alone put her in her place.

This had shut Banner up, and not long after he transferred to a different project at the Pentagon, thus terminating most contact he had Major Davis and all contact he had ever had with Jessica and the SGC in general.

Looking at her now, Paul could hardly believe she had said those things. She looked so peaceful and calm. He found himself wanting to be able to stare at her for hours, working out what she was dreaming about, trying to figure out how her mind worked. He wanted to know how she felt about things, and people. Most importantly, he wanted to know how she felt about him.

Jessica could feel her entire body begin to ache again. Sleep had provided some respite from her physical pain, but not from the emotional turmoil she was still suffering.

She opened her eyes slowly, sensing the light would be too bright and hurt them. Jessica realised she had spent the night in her living room, but it took a little longer to realise what or rather who she was lying on. She yawned in spite of her self and tried to remember how she had got like that.

Her eyes had become extremely heavy as she sat next to the major on her sofa. Neither had known what to say, so they chose to watch the TV. Eventually Jessica had found herself being less able to keep her eyes open and had begun to drift in and out of conciseness. As she did so, she remembered beginning to 'list' to one side, in the direction of Paul. She had eventually come to rest on his shoulder.

Jessica had found him a very comfortable place to come to rest on. Paul hadn't seemed uncomfortable in the slightest by her sudden closeness, in fact it seemed to put him at ease in the knowledge she was willing to do that.

She remembered not being completely asleep when Paul had moved his arm and guided her down to his lap. Jessica could have stopped him and sat up again, but she chose not to. She had not been on his shoulder for very long, but she was already getting a slight crick in her neck, and knew this probably would be better for her. She had made herself comfortable on his lap, and not woken up again until now.

Jessica felt Paul rest his hand on her right exposed shoulder. His touch was gentle and more than a little comforting. She didn't wince or jump as he moved it slowly to her upper arm, and left it there. She closed her eyes and savoured the sensation of someone touching her in such a compassionate way. There was no hidden agenda to the contact between them. Paul was only comforting her, letting her know he was still there, still there for her.

Jessica slowly but surely pushed herself up from her resting place and squinted into the sun again. She rubbed at her eyes with tired hands then turned to the man still to the left of her.

Paul smiled at the half awake woman now looking at him. He had removed his hand from her arm as she had started to sit up, now it rested in his lap.

"Morning," he greeted her. He looked a little more awake than Jessica and she guessed he'd awoken before she had.

Two weeks had passed when Paul was called back to Washington. The Air Force major did not want to leave Jessica at all. Over the past few days they had come to a new understanding. Jessica had finally been able to open up to him and tell him exactly how she had felt and was still feeling. She had explained why she hadn't been able to tell the others all this, and that she was glad he'd been there.

Paul had found it hard to be with her through this time in her life, but wouldn't have ever left her side throughout the whole ordeal. He felt privileged that he had been the one she had chosen to get her through the darkest time she had ever experienced.

Paul had learnt things about her that would have never shown up in any mission report, or personnel file. In the last two weeks he had come to learn who and what she really was. Paul had found that his first impressions had been correct. She was a bright and intelligent woman with a glittering future ahead of her.

Paul had also found that as he, she considered him friend. Jessica thought of him as someone she could trust and depend on. In the time they had spent together, Paul had given her no reason to think otherwise, and he never would.

Jessica had found Paul's constant presence more than a little comforting and helpful. The rest of SG-1 had still not returned. The Tok'ra seemed to have got themselves into a real bind this time, and even the formidable SG-1 didn't seem to having much luck helping them out.

Paul had been nothing but patient with her the whole time. It was uncanny that he seemed to know exactly what she needed from him and when she needed it. The thought of him not being there for her now was a little more than she wanted to think about or take.

Paul dropped his bags at the front door of Jessica's house. He looked down into her big blue eyes and smiled regretfully. It was true she had gotten better in the days they had spent together, but he still didn't fell happy about deserting her in her time of need. Jessica had reassured him countless times that she would be okay, but Paul was right to assume she was just trying to make him feel better.

Jessica looked up into the dashing major's brilliantly green eyes and gave him the same smile back. She had been dreading this day since she had come to depend on Paul's presence to keep her safe and sane.

Paul took her hand in his and squeezed it tightly. He pulled her toward him a little and smiled again.

"I'll be back as soon as possible," he promised. Jessica looked into the man's eyes and attempted to smile again but to no avail.

"Promise?" she asked weakly, squeezing his hand just as tightly back.

Paul nodded and pulled her toward him a little more. They were now less than six inches apart and Paul was bearing down on her. Jessica couldn't help but feel safe whenever he did that. She never thought she'd be the kind of person that would depend on a man for comfort or warmth, but since meeting Major Paul Davis, she found that maybe she just hadn't met the right man yet.

Paul placed his lips on her forehead and left them there for a moment before saying or doing anything. He closed his eyes, feeling the same pangs of anger, guilt and remorse he had when he first read the report.

"I promise," he whispered against her soft milky skin.

Jessica's breath caught in her throat as she heard his words. She managed to somewhat control the gasp that escaped her own lips and bit her bottom lip in a bid not to let it happen again. She closed her eyes and tried to stem the flow of tears that was imminent.

Paul felt her body stiffen against his words. "I promise," he repeated.

Jessica felt one loan tear begin its decent down her cheek. She kept her eyes closed, sacred that if she didn't she wouldn't be in any control at all. Her body shook slightly as she fought the urge to completely give in to her emotions.

Paul felt every move. He pulled her into his arms and held her there. He didn't say a word, he just held her.

Jessica let him take her to his chest. She clung to his shirt in a physical attempt to get him to stay. Even though she was so close, Jessica refused to break down, not now.

After a moment to compose herself, she pushed herself out of Paul's grasp and stood away from him. She looked up at him.

Paul didn't smile this time as he looked into her bloodshot eyes. Him smiling now was not going to help, besides he didn't really feel like it.

Jessica sat waiting. Paul had called from the airport and told he would be about half an hour. She couldn't believe just how much she had missed him. In the two weeks he had spent with her, they had become extremely close. He had become one of her best and most trusted friends. They both discovered they had similar interests and views. And for a while, Paul had made her forget all about what had happened.

As she sat on the sofa, listening out for his car to pull up, she reflected on how Paul had been able to make most things go away, until it was just them, talking.

Jessica heard the sound of a car pulling up on the drive and the engine being cut. She got up from the settee to her feet and walked over to the window next to the drive. She saw the figure of Major Davis exiting his car and walking round to the boot of the car to retrieve his bags.

Jessica moved to the front door and opened it in time to see Paul walking up the steps of her porch. Paul now also carried a large bunch of pink, purple and white flowers. He held them out toward her and smiled.

"Here you are," he said pushing them under her nose.

Jessica reciprocated his smile and took the flowers before he shoved them into her face. She looked down into the bouquet and smiled again.

"Roses," she said looking back up at him. "My favourite," she stated.

Paul stood before her and smiled again. "I know," he said.

Jessica smiled cheekily at him, glad that he had been paying attention to her when she had told him that tit-bit of information about herself. She stepped back into the house and let Paul enter.

Paul dropped his bags on the floor next to the door and closed it behind him. He watched Jessica place the flowers on the stand next to the door and turn to him. She smiled up at him in the same way she had done when they had first met. A smile full of sincerity and pleasure. He had not seen that smile in his last visit, but was more than just a little glad that he was witness to it now.

The two stood awkwardly for a moment, neither sure the other wanted to repeat what they had done in the weeks before. Jessica chose to make the first move, making it easier for Paul to know where he stood.

She took a step toward him and stretched her arms out to his neck. Paul followed her move and moved his hands round her waist. He pulled her to him gently and let her hold him on her own terms, for as long or as little as she felt comfortable with.

Jessica felt Paul's strong arms envelop her in the same kind of hug he had given her when they had said goodbye. She felt safe again, but didn't feel anywhere near able to admit it. She squeezed him tightly, checking that he really was there and she wasn't just imagining him.

"I missed you," she said into his chest, not entirely sure she'd wanted to say it.

Paul rested his cheek on the top of her head and closed his eyes, breathing in the scent her shampoo had left behind.

"I missed you, too," he said, it was his turn to sound sincere. Paul clutched her that little bit more tightly. "More than I realised," he told her, now not wanting to let her go.

Jessica stood in the entrance way to her hall and looked at the major sat on the couch, watching TV. She leant against the doorframe and studied his expression as he watched the late news. Paul's face displayed no trace of emotion as he witnessed some atrocity that was taking place in a far away land. Jessica had never really thought about how he saw things like that and how he felt about them. She closed her mind to the images that filled her lounge. She'd had enough of atrocities and bloodshed for a lifetime.

Paul became aware of someone gazing at him, and finally turned to her. He smiled, a smile that seemed to light up his entire face, making him forget what he was watching.

"Hey," he said, looking her up and down and taking what she was wearing. "You ready for bed?" he asked.

Jessica looked down at herself and smiled. Her purple, pink and white striped PJ bottoms were a bit of a giveaway, even if the plain purple vest top wasn't. She looked back up at Paul and nodded.

"Yeah," she said.

Paul nodded back and twisted in his seat to face her properly. His eyes narrowed as she didn't seem to want to move.

"Are you okay?" he asked, a more than slight trace of concern entering his voice.

Jessica pursed her lips in thought. Paul watched as she looked to be thinking that one through very carefully. She finally looked him in the eye again.

Jessica folded her arms across her chest defensively. Paul's eyes narrowed again, not sure why her posture had changed so much on one question. He leant forward, but did not leave his seat on the sofa, not wanting to disturb her in any way.

Jessica shook her arms on her chest slightly, and grasped her hands on her upper arms, noticeably turning her knuckles white. Paul couldn't help be alarmed by this.

Jessica looked off to the right, toward the window on the side of the house. Chewing her bottom lip, she fought an internal battle that Paul had no idea of. She finally managed to turn to him again, and indeed look him in the eye.

"I don't like sleeping alone at the best of times," she began, nerves filtering through. "And this not being the best of times, I can't stand it,"

Paul watched as she seemed to be falling apart again, right in front of him. He remained still on the sofa, unsure of what she was going to say next and of what she wanted him to do.

"I sleep better knowing there's someone there," she began again. "To, you know, watch over me,"

Paul fixed her in his most understanding and sympathetic gaze. He couldn't begin to imagine how vulnerable she was feeling right then.

"I'll be in the next room," Paul told her softly. "You need anything, you just call," he blinked a couple of times, not knowing if this was what she had wanted to hear. She may have just needed a little reassurance that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Jessica shook her folded arms again and frowned. She pursed her lips and looked at the major.

"Could you," she started in an uncertain voice, still a tad shaky.

"Could I what?" Paul asked softly, he smiled slightly, letting her know it was okay to carry on.

"Could you sleep in my room tonight?" she managed to get out.

Paul looked at her, feeling his heart breaking as he could swear he saw tears being to well in her eyes. He swore that he couldn't have felt worse if someone was actually physically ripping his heart from his chest. He pushed himself up slowly from his position on the settee.

"Of course I will," he said so softly, Jessica had to strain to hear him. She turned away as she fought back tears that seemed to stem from her facing up to something that she hadn't really wanted to.

Paul walked slowly to stand in front of her, stopping less than two-foot from her. He extened his hand to her, touching her shoulder gently. Jessica looked up at and let herself breakdown a little. Paul tilted his head to one side and pulled her toward him. To his surprise she went willingly, trying to find comfort in his arms. Paul rested his chin on her head, like he had done many times before. He enveloped her in his strong arms, attempting to make her feel that bit safer. Seeing her like this was almost more than he could take, and right then he seemed powerless to protect her from any of this.

Jessica forced herself from the security of Paul's chest and wiped at her eyes. She looked up at him and gave him a smile that told him she was being silly. Paul read it perfectly and shook his head, no she wasn't.

Jessica turned her back on him and began to head toward her bedroom, Paul followed her close behind, not wanting to leave her side.

Jessica pulled the duvet up under her arms and rested her head on the pillow behind her. Paul sat on top of the covers next to her and crossed his legs at the ankles. She looked across at him for a moment, trying to decide if what she wanted to do would make him uncomfortable. Jessica shuffled to her left slightly, getting closer to the major.

Not saying a word, she rested her head on his arm. Paul looked down at her. He could feel every breath translate through him and could feel his own breaths falling into the same pattern as hers. He moved his arm and draped it over her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

Silently, Jessica put the arm that wasn't under her body round Paul's waist, seeking warmth and shelter.

"Don't let go," Jessica said in an almost dream-like state.

Paul rested his chin on her head. "I won't," he replied, just as softly.

Paul felt her breathing slow, and he listened to it as he held her to him. After no more than half an hour, he was sure she was asleep. Her hand still clung to his shirt, but it was more like a muscle spasm than anything else. His own grip however, was constant. Paul had made a promise to her, and wouldn't break that promise for the world.

A couple of hours past, Paul remained awake. He'd wanted to make sure she was actually settled, and hadn't wanted her to wake up and find him asleep. Paul looked down at her sleeping body still in his arms. Jessica hadn't moved, and hadn't relinquished her grip of his shirt.

Paul's overwhelming urge to do something to make things better for the young woman who now lay in his arms, had subsided. It had been a natural reaction. The primeval response to protect what he cared for, to make her feel secure again. It had washed over him like a tidal wave, he hadn't even realised he'd cared for her that much 'til he had read 'that' report.

But now, now he felt as if he was doing something. It may not have been as proactive as he would have liked, but he new deep down in side he was in fact helping her. Jessica had chosen him, out of all others to be with her when she needed someone most. Paul knew that meant something. No matter what he thought their relationship had been before, it was certainly very different now.

Paul finally allowed himself to close his eyes, and let himself drift off into a hopefully dreamless sleep.

The slat of light that shone through the improperly drawn curtains fell straight onto Paul's face. As the sun rose, if gleamed right into his eyes. He blinked a couple of times against the bright light before moving his head enough to shield his delicate early morning eyes.

For a moment he was a little disorientated. He knew he was in Jessica's house, but wasn't quite sure of which room. He was pretty certain it wasn't the spare room he'd used the last time he was there. It was at this point he realised that he was not alone on the bed. Paul squinted as he looked down to the sleeping form that still lay in his arms.

The previous night came flooding back to him. They had watched a couple of films together on the sofa, and then Jessica had taken herself off for a while. Paul had presumed she'd gone for a shower or bath, but she hadn't said anything.

After about half an hour, Jessica had reappeared in her pyjamas. Paul remembered that part clearly. What had happened next had made his heart almost stop beating. Even as she asked him to spend the night in her room with him, he was already getting ready to say yes.

There had never been any sexual connotations to her request, that he was sure. She had explained her reasons for the appeal, and he had had no way of denying her. Her request only served to prove just how much she had come to trust him.

Paul gazed at her. He studied every inch visible. He watched as the sun bounced off her hair, almost creating a golden halo round her head. Her skin was an unblemished milky white in colour that appeared never to have had a tan. Her arms were slender and he found it hard to believe the power that resided in them.

Paul knew her to be accomplished in self-defence. It had been a requirement for her appointment to the SGC and SG-1. He'd had the opportunity to see her in action a couple of times and had been more than impressed. That had also made it so much harder to comprehend what had happened. Everyone had thought she was more than capable of looking after herself. How wrong had they been?

For the first time since they had retired to bed, Paul removed his hand from her waist and raised it to her face. He brushed an errant hair that was caught on the side of her mouth and pushed it back to join the others. He let his fingers linger on her neck for a moment. The skin under his fingers was the softest he had ever felt, it felt as beautiful as it looked.

Paul moved his fingertips from her neck ever so gently as not to wake her. He let them wonder down to her exposed shoulder and then onto her arm. He stopped at her upper arm and squeezed her bicep. Paul looked at how his hand was big enough to encircle her entire arm and still have room for more.

Right then she looked so fragile, he felt the protective instinct creeping back. Paul pushed it away, not wanting it to cloud his judgment, or indeed his care of her.

"Mmmm," came from the closed mouth of the young woman in his embrace.

Paul tilted his head to try and get a look at her face. Paul watched as the young woman he held so tenderly in his arms struggled to regain consciousness. She mumbled again and shifted in his arms.

Paul loosened his grip so she could move. Jessica braced herself against Paul's waist to push herself up.

Jessica opened her eyes a fraction, just enough to see Paul looking at her. She turned her head away from him as her face split into a yawn. She rubbed her eyes with one lazy hand as she looked back at him.

Paul watched as he felt an overwhelming urge to yawn himself. He did so, but didn't bother to look away or cover his mouth. He too was too lazy to do that.

Jessica smiled as she watched his face scrunch up and Paul make that funny sound all people make when they are caught off guard.

"Sorry," she apologised for starting a yawn-chain reaction.

The major shook his head. "I was going to yyawnnn annnywaaayy," he said, attempting to talk through a second one.

Jessica laughed slightly and let herself gaze at the handsome man sat beside her on her bed.

Paul still had his hand on her back and was reluctant to remove it. He'd been glad he'd been there to see her wake up, and have been able to have that closeness he'd been longing for since they had first met.

Paul rubbed her back gently in slow sweeping circles, soothing her. Jessica pushed herself against his hand, just to feel his strength. Paul countered her and provided resistance to her force and smiled.

"Morning," Paul said, just glad to be this close to her.

The music from the stereo system in Jessica's living room filled almost the whole of the house. It wasn't particularly loud, but it seemed to travel to all the rooms with the greatest of ease.

Paul had insisted that he make the breakfast for the pair of them, claiming he couldn't stand Jessica's cooking. Jessica had laughed good naturedly, but knew he was just trying to do anything he could for her. In turn, Jessica had insisted that it be she who cleaned up.

While Jessica had been in the kitchen, Paul had rifled through her CD collection again. He had done this many times in his stay there and had found her taste in music to be diverse and well, bewildering.

The CD collection Jessica possessed was vast to say the least, half of the bands Paul had never heard of, and presumed they were British acts.

He found a general compilation CD hidden in the depths of one of the many storage cases. He lazily eyed the back before taking one of the CDs out of the double disk set and feeding it into the sound system. He pressed play and went back to his place on the sofa he had occupied since breakfast that morning.

From his seat, he could see into the kitchen. Paul watched as Jessica absently cleaned the morning's dishes and begin to dry them. Even in such a menial task, she still managed to look graceful. Everything seemed to be done in a fluid perpetual motion.

Paul's ears pricked up at the sound of the first song's introduction. He'd heard the song many times before, and almost knew it word for word. He'd never thought of it before, but the lyrics seemed so appropriate at that moment in time. So fitting, he felt himself become mesmerised by the song and just staring at the young woman in front of him.

The soft floating vocals of Sarah McLachlan filled the air. It wasn't until half way through the song that Paul realised that the voice he was concentrating so hard on as not that of the singer, but of Jessica as she tidied the kitchen.

She too appeared to know all of the words by heart. Paul could no longer hear even the music, let alone the actual words. His mind was filled with Jessica's soft voice as it drifted from the kitchen, over the breakfast bar and into the living room.

Paul got the feeling she had no idea he was watching her so intently, nor that he could hear her. She seemed blissfully unaware to him hanging on her every word.

As the song ended, Jessica glanced up from cleaning off the work surface just in time to see Paul gazing at her. He seemed to be watching her every move and hadn't been aware that she was now gazing back at him.

"What?" Jessica said dropping the dishcloth she had in her hand onto the top of the counter.

Paul looked blankly into her eyes, unsure of what she had just asked him.

"What?" Jessica repeated, getting a little unnerved by the look she was receiving from the major. She put her hand to her hair and patted it. "Is my hair a mess? Do I have something on my face?" she asked moving her hand to her mouth to cheek she didn't have any crumbs left from their morning meal.

Paul shook his head, realising he had been staring.

"No, no," he said getting to his feet. "There's nothing wrong with your hair," he told her.

Jessica eyed him suspiciously. She wiped at her face again.

Paul smiled and shook his head again. "There's nothing on her face, either,"

Jessica gave him a look he read straight away. "Jess, there's nothing wrong with you,"

Jessica stepped out the kitchen and stood by the edge of the sofa, a few feet from Paul's standing place.

"Then why are you looking at me as if there is?" she confronted him. Her words seemed painful and strained, as if she were expecting him to inform her of some bad news.

"I'm not looking at you like that," he said quietly.

Jessica was just as baffled as before. "Then why are you looking at me like that then?" she was getting a bit impatient. She hated being stared at at the best of times, but when she was feeling this vulnerable she just didn't need the hassle or the paranoia it was causing.

"I'm looking at you because I think you're perfect," Paul said. As soon as the words passed his lips, he instantly regretted them. This was neither the time nor place to say anything like that to her. Paul felt he'd crossed a line he would never be able to erase.

Jessica blinked a couple of times, letting the major's words sink in. No one had ever said that to her. No one. As she repeated his words in her head, she began to feel a knot tighten in the pit of her stomach and couldn't fathom for the life of her what it was.

Paul lowered his head, planning his next move. It all depended on what Jessica was going to do or say next. He was ready to walk out there and then, to just go and never come back if that was what she wanted. He had said something he shouldn't have and was willing to pay the price for it. If she didn't want to, she would never have to see him again.

"You think that?" Jessica asked in disbelief. Her voice quivered as she spoke and she breathed out the word 'that'.

Paul raised his head quickly and made eye contact with her. He held her gaze, terrified that if he looked away then, he would never have it again. He nodded.

"Yes, I do,"

Jessica stood before the man she had come to trust above all others, finding it hard to believe the words tumbling from his sweet lips.

"How long have you thought that?" she asked, no idea of what else to say or ask.

Paul moved a step toward her and stood still again. He still looked deep into her eyes, searching for some sort of sign to let him know she had at least similar feelings to his.

"Since we first met," he said honestly. "I've always had feelings for you," he began to tell her.

Jessica found herself loosing her balance momentarily. She managed to steady herself on the edge of her sofa and forced herself to stand straight.

"When I found out what happened to you," Paul said, finally letting his gaze fall to the floor. "I," he stopped and looked back up to her. He swallowed hard as he thought of the emotions he had felt when he had first read the report.

He looked up at her long enough to find the courage to say what he needed to.

"I felt as though I could die," finally slipped out.

Jessica frowned and looked at the man in front of her, she had no idea his feelings for her ran so deep. Her breath caught in her throat and she too had to swallow hard to be able to breathe again.

"I couldn't bare to think that there was anyone capable of doing that to you," Paul hesitated again. He threw all caution to the wind at that point. He had come that far, any damage had by now been done, he had nothing left to loose.

He shook his head. "That there was anyone out there able to do something that terrible to sweet, beautiful you," Paul stared into her eyes and willed her to feel for him how he felt for her.

Jessica thought she was going to start to hyperventilate. Her breaths came in short sharp rasps as Paul's words whirled round in her now spinning head. Just thinking was now making her light headed and dizzy.

Not in her wildest dreams had she ever thought she'd hear those words from Paul Davis' lips. Now she was actually hearing them for real, she didn't know what to do. She had not prepared herself for this in the slightest.

She stared into his green all-seeing eyes, transfixed. Words would not form in her mind, never mind let themselves be spoken aloud.

Paul had nothing left to loose. "I seriously considered breaking every rule in the book and going through the gate myself," he told her, a trace of venom in his voice. The harshness of his spoken words caught Jessica's attention right away.

She lifted her head to address the major. Her eyes narrowed in a questioning glance. "Why?"

Paul wasn't sure if she got it, just how much he cared for her, just what he was willing to do for her.

"To find the man who did it," he said, his words now dripping in the venom she had heard before, "and kill him,"

The last part of his statement should have been a lot harsher than the first, but as he said the words, Paul's voice dropped to almost a whisper. The volume might have been quiet and none threatening, but the malice in his words was definite. There was no doubt in Jessica's mind that if givin the chance, Paul would do exactly that.

The young woman fought of the urge to cry out or make some noise that would mean something, but she had no idea of how to. The shock of being told that you're cared for, by someone you had no idea felt that way was enough. But to then have them say they would kill for you, that just took it to another level.

Instead, Jessica looked at Paul. She daren't take her eyes from, lest he saw it as some sign that she didn't want him to continue. She would admit freely that this outburst of emotion and feelings was making her more than a little uncomfortable, but deep inside her, she longed to be told that she was that important.

All her life she'd had an ideal of what love would be. At a young age she had found that had been a loud of crap, and love sucked. At the tender age of twenty-two, she had more than given up on finding anyone that she would feel that total love and acceptance with or for. Jessica knew she would find love, but it wouldn't be the great love she'd always dreamt of. She was wise and battle-scarred enough to know she would have to compromise somewhere along the line, she just didn't know what part of her ideal would be the thing to go.

As Paul stood in front of her now, telling her he would kill someone for her, she thought that for the briefest of moments that she may get her ideal after all. Major Paul Davis was everything that she had ever wanted. He was handsome, smart, funny – when you got to know him -, in a stable job and was more than capable of taking care of her.

Her judgement may have been clouded by the recent events in her life, but she was still sane enough to know that she had wanted Paul for a long time, too. Not just in the past few minuets when he had opened up his heart to her.

"You'd do that?" she asked in disbelief.

Paul tried not to nod his head too vigorously. He wouldn't have enjoyed the kill, but he would have felt like he had done something constructive, or destructive depending how you looked at it.

"I'd do it for you," he said. Paul wasn't sure saying you'd kill for them was a great way to woo someone, but he was on a roll now, and he didn't know how to stop.

Jessica lowered her gaze to the beige carpet they both stood on. She toyed with idea of telling Paul what she knew.

Paul watched as her head dropped and she broke their eye contact. He was terrified he'd said something wrong. He had gone too far by saying he'd kill for her, but it as true. That man had done unspeakable things to her and he deserved to die, he couldn't help feeling that way. Paul just wished that he hadn't said it to her, not now.

"It wasn't in any report," Jessica's voice was soft but commanding of Paul's attention.

"But Jack found the guy," her voice was barely above a whisper as if she were scared her house was bugged. Jessica raised her head and looked Paul directly in his astonishingly green eyes. "He killed him,"

Paul should have been shocked, but he wasn't. He knew exactly how Jack would have felt finding Jessica like that, there wouldn't have been a thing that anyone could have done to stop him form exacting revenge. People joked about 'Jaffa revenge', but a man protecting the people he held dear was a far more terrifying prospect than any Jaffa with a grudge.

"I can't blame him," Paul's voice was low and remorseful. "I told you I'd do the same thing,"

Jessica could feel her skin begin to burn as his words found their way into her head and begin to embarrass her. She had never been good at accepting complements, even a lop sided one like this one.

"Jack cares about you so much, I can totally understand why he took such drastic measures," Paul's eyes pleaded with hers to understand why he was saying these things. His eyes narrowed as he thought of the circumstances surrounding the man's eventual death.

"Although, in the circumstances," Paul sad quietly. "They weren't so drastic,"

The major looked ready to apologise for his words, as if he had spoken out of line, but Jessica held up a hand to stop him. Paul closed his mouth and waited for Jessica to say something.

Jessica took a short breath a she composed herself before she spoke. She knew what she wanted to say and she didn't want her emotions to prevent her letting the man in front of her know just how much she did in fact care for him.

"I am so grateful that you were here when I needed someone most," Jessica said, forcing all her body's attempts to cry back deep down inside. This was important, Paul had to be told just how important he was – to her.

Paul wasn't sure where this was heading. At that moment in time, it could go either way.

"I don't think I would be where I am now if it weren't for you," Jessica said in all honesty.

Paul's aching heart skipped a beat. He wanted to be loved by her so much. He'd always had deep rooted feeling for her, but only in the past few weeks had he let them surface. The pain this caused had been unimaginable.

It was now Jessica's turn to throw all caution to the wind, just as Paul had done earlier.

"I'm glad you were the one to get me through this,"

Paul blinked. He wasn't sure he'd just heard that, but he withheld from asking her to repeat it.

"I think you were the only one who ever could,"

Paul almost coughed as his breath got caught in his throat. He couldn't believe his ears. Was she really trying to tell him she shared his feelings?

Jessica took a step forward, putting less than two feet of distance between them.

Paul stared intently into her cerulean blue eyes. The small space between was far from empty. It was filled with hope, anxiety, pain, pleasure and fear. The tension it was creating was almost palatable.

"All I've ever wanted to do was take away all the pain," Paul could hear his voice being strained to be able to speak those words. "I just wanted to make it better. Make everything alright again,"

Jessica lifted her head to look him directly in the eyes again. The man was far taller than she, but he seemed to be stooping, unable to stand to his full height. The emotional strain he was under seemed to be making him stoop, as if being closer to her height would make things better, at least for him.

Paul watched as she moved toward him. He longed to be able to reach out to her, for just one touch.

"When I first came here," Paul paused, unsure of what term to use. "After. It broke my heart to see you like that," a lump formed in Paul's throat and he fought valiantly to stop it from preventing him talking. He swallowed hard in an attempt to make it go away, but it remained.

"I hated seeing you like that," the swelling in Paul's throat now prevented any more being said. He tried to swallow again, but to no avail. He broke eye contact with Jessica and looked to the floor. He could feel the sting of tears as they formed in his now red-streaked eyes.

Paul blinked a couple of times, trying to bat them away but they persisted. He finally closed his eyes, trying so hard not to break down in front of the woman he was falling in love with, in front of the woman he was supposed to be taking care of.

One unrelenting tear managed to get past the barrier Paul had put up by closing his eyes, and slid down onto his cheek. He kept his eyes closed, knowing that if he opened them, more would fall.

Jessica still looked up at the man in front of her. She saw the lone tear begin it's decent down his now flushed cheeks. She took a small step forward and put her hand out to him. She reached out to his face and rested her hand on his tear-stained cheek. With a trembling thumb, she brushed away the tear before it reached Paul's jaw. Jessica left her hand there, feeling the tremors subside when Paul pushed his face into her hand, just how she had pushed her back into his hand when they had just woken up.

His skin was soft under her touch. He had shaved only a couple of hours before and there had been no time for any stubble to grow. Jessica felt the muscle in his jaw clench when she touched him, she guessed he was working hard not to cry anymore. It was the first time she had touched any exposed part of his body apart from his hands.

During the first few nights Paul had spent with her, he had held her hand as she fell to sleep. Jessica had found that just that small amount of contact between them was more than enough to make her feel totally safe and secure. She could only begin to imagine what anymore contact between them would make her feel.

Paul almost let out an audioable gasp when he felt Jessica's hand alight on his face. He had been so consumed with fighting back the tears, he had been completely unaware at just how close she had moved to him, or that she was about to touch him. Her soft, warm touch could have quiet easily pushed him over the edge. It could have sent him hurtling toward oblivion, never to return. But instead, it reinforced everything he thought he knew about her. That she was a kind and caring person with the greatest capacity to love he'd ever come across in any one person.

Paul finally opened his eyes, still unsure whether he would be able to control his own body's expression of sorrow. No more fell, but his eyes still stung. He looked into her eyes, not knowing what to expect. The eyes that stared back at his were also beginning to fill with tears. Paul read her expression as one not wanting him to be in this pain. He guessed she thought she was hurting enough for the both of them.

He tilted his head to one side so his face rested against the strength in her arm and hand. Paul wanted to remember everything from that moment's touch. He knew he might never get that close to her again.

After what had felt like the longest few minuets of his life, Paul was finally able to speak.

"I just wanted to hold you," he said in a hoarse whispered tone. "I just wanted to make you feel safe again," Paul was at long last able to at least begin to tell her how he was truly feeling.

Jessica tried to smile, but she failed. The pain she was experiencing at that precise moment didn't allow for many facial expressions.

"You did make me feel safe," Jessica said in just the same hushed tone Paul had just used.

Paul couldn't help but take a sharp intake of breath when she said that. He raised his hand to hers on his face. He held tightly, making sure it wasn't going anywhere, as well as serving to push it harder against his face.

Jessica gripped his head in return. "In your arms," her voice sounded urgent and full of need. "I feel safer than I've ever done before,"

Paul let go of her hand and outstretched both arms toward her. Before he knew if she did want to be held by him, he was already enveloping her in his grasp. His arms locked

themselves around her fragile form and held her to his chest. He was matched by the same action from the person he was hugging.

Jessica let her hand fall from his face and slipped it under his arms, her hands gliding round his back and gripping his shirt. As her face came to rest on his chest, she could feel his heart beating rapidly. Their chests pressed so closely together, Jessica was no longer able to tell her beat from Paul's. Both hearts were thumping much faster than they usually did, both on the verge of bursting, or at least that was what it felt like to Jessica.

Paul pushed his nose into her hair. He loved the scent that Jessica's shampoo left behind. It just seemed to suit her perfectly, as if that brand was only made for her. When he had got back to D.C., Paul had been putting his clothes into wash when he came across the shirt he had worn the day he left. He had held it to his nose and had an instant flashback to when he'd held her that last time, provided by Jessica's scent.

Paul would never admit it, but he hadn't washed that particular shirt. He chose instead to keep it in his room. It had been that and the knowledge he was going to see her again that had gotten him through the two weeks they had been apart.

"I wanted to kiss everything away," he told her, into her hair. "The pain, the fear, your tears," Paul didn't seem to care anymore about what he was saying to her, or what repercussions there might be.

Jessica pushed her face out of his chest long enough to be heard.

"Why didn't you?" came her weakening voice, emotion and fatigue getting the better of her.

Paul's eyes widened as the words entered his head. He couldn't believe what he was hearing her say.

Paul pulled away slightly so he could look into her face. He had to hold her by the shoulders so she would look up at him. Jessica would have preferred the relative comfort of Paul's chest, rather than have to face him right then.

His mind raced as he thought of all the reasons he should have kissed her and the few reasons he hadn't.

"I didn't want to frighten you," he began to tell her. "Or scare you. I was worried that if I did anything like that, you'd push me away,"

Jessica reluctantly looked into his eyes.

"I didn't want to take advantage of you," Paul was right, any move he made would have been construed as this, rightly or wrongly. Jessica knew this.

"Thank you," Jessica said sincerely. She still had her hands on his sides, unwilling to let him out of her grasp.

"I know you did the right thing," she replied quietly. "But I probably wouldn't have minded,"

Paul's eyes widened again. She was having a startling affect on him today and he was having a hard time controlling his own body's reactions. He felt his fingers grip her shoulders involuntarily. He knew she too must have felt that.

"In fact," Jessica said, prompted by Paul's sudden display of strength. "It might have helped,"

Paul took one hand from the woman's shoulder and placed it on her cheek, in much the same way she had done to him earlier. Jessica closed her eyes at such a gentle touch. She had a hard time believing that the hands she now found herself in were capable of killing. Paul's touch was so soft, and the sensation was so comforting, she couldn't imagine his hands doing anything else.

With closed eyes, Jessica began to speak again.

"I'm still hurting," she told Paul. Her voice was soft but definite and commanding his attention. "I'm still scared,"

Paul watched as she kept her eyes closed to him. He could feel the unmistakable pull of her hands on his waist. She was tugging him toward her but with no real strength or force.

Jessica finally opened her eyes and two tears fell from her left eye.

"And the tears are still here," she said.

Paul wiped the first tear with the thumb of the hand that was holding her face. As the second tear reached his hand, he repeated the motion.

"Your kisses may still help," she concluded.

Paul felt his heart almost stop completely. In the pit of his stomach he felt a heat and tingle that rose through his entire body, all the way to his head.

Everything he thought he ever knew about himself changed there and then. Any restraint he had was now gone. The only thing that mattered at the precise moment was her.

Paul drew her back to him, closing the gap which had developed between them. He pulled her face toward his and stooped to meet her lips with his.

In that instant of their lips meeting for the first time, the whole world fell away. Paul could no longer hear the music that still filled the room. The only sound either could still detect was that of their breathing and the distinct sound of their hearts beating as one.

Jessica's mind was emptied of everything. All she could think of at that moment in time was Paul, and how he was kissing her. Every thought and memory of what had happened to her faded into nothingness.

Jessica was dimly aware of Paul encircling her in his arms, drawing her nearer. She no longer felt scared or in fear of anything – she felt perfectly safe. There was no more pain of any kind, on any level – she was completely at peace. Her tears had subsided. Only another three droplets had fallen and they were now long gone and forgotten – she was now still. For the first time in over a month, Jessica no longer felt as if she would break down at any moment. As long as they kissed, Jessica knew she would always feel this way.

Paul pressed his lips firmly against hers, but was still able to remain gentle. The touches between his lips and hers were enough to generate a spark that travelled down his spine and into his very core. A chain reaction was ignited within him he was powerless to prevent or even control.

As he felt her slender hands and arms begging him to remain near, Paul finally let himself admit something. He had been fighting it for a long now, he had no choice but to give in. He loved her. Major Paul Alexander Davis of the United States Air Force loved Miss Jessica Adelaide Pearce.

The attraction between them had always been real, and he'd acknowledged that. But this was a major step for him.

Paul knew he'd been in love before, but it didn't even come close to what he was feeling now. His emotions seemed to transcend love and lust, and go far deeper than he ever thought possible. As Paul let his mind drift from one feeling to another, he realised he'd found the woman he'd been searching for all his life. The one woman who could never hurt or betray him, because he knew, in that kiss everything he'd ever need to know.

Paul couldn't help but feel as if he wanted to stay like that for the rest of his life. He couldn't bare the thought of not touching her and being that close. He was scared that if he stopped kissing her now, she might change her mind and he would never again experience the sensation of being with someone who made him feel complete.

Paul knew full well that this might be all there ever would be to their relationship, that it may not go any further than this kiss, this day, so with every passing second, Paul committed it to memory, savouring every oh-so precious moment.

He knew that this might be the only time he would feel so much love for one person, and feel so much love returned from that one person.

Paul was finally able to push away all the terrible, terrible images he had of Jessica during the attack. Every time he had closed his eyes he hadn't been able to shift the thoughts that were left in his head from that vivid report. Now, all those pictures dissolved into just one. All Paul could see now was the two of them. The two of them together. The two of them in each others arms, sharing the most tender and loving kiss either of them had ever experienced.

Jessica let her arms tighten around Paul's upper body a little more, and unconscious effort to keep him near and a bid to keep the kiss going for as long as possible. She had no desire to stop kissing the man who was kissing her back.

Jessica had never felt this secure and safe in her entire life. In Paul's arms she felt like no one could ever harm her. She knew in her deepest and most trusting place that Paul would protect her from anything that attempted to hurt her. In his arms, she was invincible.

As she felt Paul pressing his lips more firmly on hers, Jessica came to realise that she was in love with this man holding her so tenderly in his arms. The feelings he was generating were more than a little familiar to her. She'd had them many times before and knew them to be love. What she hadn't realised until that moment, was that she'd experienced them for Paul before. She got the same twinge in her stomach then that she did whenever she saw him. Jessica had loved Major Paul Davis from the very first time she had laid eyes on him. She knew that now.

After what had felt to both of them as only a few minuets, but in reality was closer to half an hour, they pulled apart reluctantly. Paul still held onto her, unwilling to give her the chance to get away. His hands rested in the small of her back, and drew her lower body to meet his.

Jessica still clung to his sides, also unwilling to give him any chance to move from her. She looked up into his eyes to find a man looking back at her with eyes full of love.

Paul gazed down at Jessica, waiting for her to find the courage to look back at him. When she finally did, he was greeted by crystal clear blue eyes, not a trace of a tear in sight. He smiled, happy in the knowledge that he had been able to dissipate her tears.

Jessica was able to find her voice after a bit of an effort. "I don't know when I'll be able to do anything more than this," she said quietly.

She was about to go on when Paul held a finger to her mouth to prevent her from going any further.

"Sshh," he whispered softly. Jessica did as she was told, not wanting to argue with him. Paul rested his forehead on hers and stared intently into her eyes. He drew her closer again, pressing his upper body against hers this time.

"I'll wait as long as you want me to," he said honestly. There was never a doubt in his mind that he would indeed wait forever to be with this woman. "Kissing will do just fine," he said with a smile.

Jessica smiled back. Paul felt his heart skip a beat for what felt like the thousandth time that day. It was the same smile she'd given him when they first met, and every time they had met since. He knew from that one curl of her lips that she was going to be okay if he was there for her.

"Besides, I've got a feeling you're worth the wait,"

33


End file.
